by Tucker Scofield

Chalk one up for the monkeys.

I recently read that in this year’s annual “Ig Nobel Prize” (the arts and sciences equivalent of Hollywood’s “Razzies”) an award in the category of anatomy was given to two researchers who discovered that chimpanzees can identify other individual chimpanzees simply by looking at a picture of their butt. What a contrast to human beings I thought, because despite Obama showing his ass on multiple occasions in recent weeks, polls indicate that a large percentage of likely voters seem unable to recognize an idiot when they see one.

I am well aware of the fact that many of these polls are heavily weighted in favor of the president, giving him the appearance of an edge. This has been discussed in conservative circles for some time now. I am also well aware of the fact that Obama is buying votes with the entitlement crowd, meaning support from this sector is a given. But for the remainder of us, this presidential race should be so obvious as to not even be a contest. But as support for the president remains high I can’t help but to wonder who the more intelligent species here is.

Obama has made a mockery of our war on terror by remaining staunchly unwilling to identify and label terrorism. This was “self-evident” this past week as Obama’s White House was finally forced to admit that the attacks on our Libyan embassy were, in fact, an act of terrorism. Still, White House spokesman Jay Carney continued the narrative that an almost completely unknown (at the time) movie was somehow equally responsible. Even with that long overdue admission, Obama himself continued to balk at calling it a terrorist act while remaining firmly committed to the movie as the primary culprit. In so doing, he defaulted to a character flaw he’s exhibited time and again which is to defend Islam instead of defending America.

The president’s backside was also exposed when it was discovered Wednesday evening that the leader of the Libyan attack was former Guantanamo Bay detainee Sufyan Ben Qumu, released in 2007 into Libyan custody on the condition that he be kept in jail. Instead, Libyan leader Muammar Qaddafi released Qumu as a part of a reconciliation effort with Islamists back in 2008. Although President Obama was not responsible for the release of Qumu, Qumu’s alleged involvement in the Libyan embassy attack stands starkly at odds with the president’s long-standing narrative to close Gitmo.

The president again showed his ass (as well as showing what an ass he can be) by denying a meeting with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and ignoring the embassy disasters in Libya and Egypt, all while attending a Vegas fundraiser and accepting a slot on the David Letterman show. Incredibly, audience members applauded and cheered the man who should have been unavailable due to infinitely more pressing matters.

And then in somewhat of a shocking turn of events – shocking only in the fact that a major newspaper has finally vetted Obama – The Washington Examiner helped to further expose the president’s derriere when it published a ten-part report showing a serious disconnect between our president’s self-described hard-knocks life pre-politics and life as it really was…relatively privileged and rather average. Many would describe these inconsistencies as colorful, albeit exaggerated flourishes to the president’s narrative; I prefer to call them lies.

These are not slight missteps by an otherwise stellar leader. These are serious gaffes that make a mockery of our war on terror (and all those who have sacrificed in its name), that threaten our nation’s security and stability, and that lend credibility to those who question Obama’s legitimacy. To all those outside the entitlement crowd, this man should be an obvious disaster, a pariah to be completely and permanently deleted forever from this country’s lexicon of possible solutions to our multitude of problems. Yet he’s not…at least not for some.

I remember reading somewhere that the native people of some south Pacific island were in such awe and disbelief at the size of their European conquerors’ ships that their minds simply would not allow their eyes to see those ships. It’s the same principle as telling a child who Santa Claus really is before they’re ready to know…complete denial despite mountains of evidence to the contrary.

I suppose it’s not much different with Obama supporters. I’m convinced that I could produce documentation showing Obama to have been born in Kenya to communist parents who hated America, parents who, in turn, raised Obama to hate America; that show Obama registered to Columbia and Harvard as a foreign citizen who then wrote a thesis about how to dismantle American capitalism; I’m convinced that these documents could be vouched for by Lucifer himself, and yet most of those who currently support the president would continue to do so. It was, after all, the same for Bill Clinton; he admitted to the Lewinsky scandal and the lies he told to cover it up, yet many chose to give the man a pass…how does this happen??

It happens because for all our intellect, people are capable of incredible stupidity. It doesn’t seem to matter how many times we show pictures of once-pretty girls who have aged twenty years and lost their teeth to meth. It doesn’t seem to matter how many Steven Tylers we have speaking out about the highly addictive and incredibly destructive nature of heroin. It doesn’t seem to matter how many friends, relatives, or loved ones we lose to prescription pills or drunk driving or cigarettes or donuts, for that matter. People are capable of incredible stupidity and they reflect that in the choices they make every day. This November’s presidential election will certainly be no exception.

But for all our supposed superior intellect, this is a mistake monkeys would never make. Like us, monkeys are social animals. But unlike us, if one monkey does something that threatens the security of the troop, he or she is banished from their community regardless of how nice that monkey is, what kind of childhood it may have had, or whether it was the troop’s first black alpha male. You see, survival trumps political correctness in the jungle. We could stand to learn that lesson from our “less intelligent” counterparts.

And we could probably benefit from the Ig Nobel Prize winners, too. If the Department of Justice rules it illegal to require IDs to vote, perhaps we could employ some form of butt recognition in its place??

Tucker Scofield’s writing is shaped by his extensive business travels in the manufacturing sector. He is also a musician, a daddy, and a husband. His articles appear periodically at www.TheDCPost.com and he can be reached at tucker.scofield@gmail.com or t.scofield@TheDCPost.com